Monday, November 16, 2009

My Atmosphere

I had a dream the other night where I was holding onto the back of a rocket heading into space. The rocket shot up very quickly and I suddenly found myself in space, gazing back down onto earth. I was shaken up at first, a bit scared to be so far up, but then realized I WAS IN SPACE! I became extremely excited and awestruck. The planets were so close! Then, I stopped for a second and said, "Everyone that I love is in a completely different atmosphere". Then my excitement dissipated and I immediately fell back to earth.

This dream threw my feelings out on the table. I am here in France, seeing a new way of life, new perspectives, learning a new language. I am experiencing some things that people at home can't understand, even if I tried to explain as explicitly as I can. A part of this is extremely beautiful, and another part is very sad for me. I want to share the joy I find here with the people I love. It is a bit difficult for me to completely embrace it all. The fact that I am conscious of this struggle helps me to just be in the loneliness and learn from it. So, here I am, with a bit of sadness which I am turning into sweetness.

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